But What If I Don’t Know What to Say? Tips for Mentors

This post is part of a series for Support Driven’s Aspire Mentorship Program.

As a manager or senior leader, your experience and insights are invaluable. Embarking on a mentorship journey can be both exciting and slightly daunting - but remember connecting with your mentee on a personal level can truly set the stage for a transformative experience for both of you. 

Here are a things to keep in mind if you’re not quite sure how to begin:

• Embrace the Power of Active Listening

  • Active listening can be your greatest ally in building rapport and understanding with your mentee. It involves more than just hearing words; it’s about engaging fully with what your mentee is communicating. Summarize and restate their thoughts in your own words. You might feel repetitive, but when your mentee nods and says, "Exactly!" that "aha" moment is rewarding and strengthens your connection.

• Explore Their Goals Using the Five Ws

  • When your mentee shares their goals or work situations, listen closely for the *who, what, when, where,* and *why*. These elements can provide clarity and focus, and your questions can help them refine their objectives. For instance, if the "why" behind a goal is unclear, dig deeper - “why do you want this?” or “why is this important to leadership/company/you?”. Understanding their motivations can illuminate the path forward and offer insights into their aspirations and challenges.

• Employ a Structured Framework

  • Walking into your sessions with a structured framework in mind can provide direction and purpose. Consider leveraging models like GROW (Goal, Reality, Options, Will) or setting SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) goals. These frameworks are a tool that could ensure your discussions are productive and focused, allowing both you and your mentee to track progress over the semester.

• Explore Personality Insights Together

  • Understanding personality styles can enhance communication and collaboration. While some personality tests may feel too personal, there are many systems available online, such as Gretchen Rubin's The Four Tendencies. Consider taking a test together and discussing your results. This shared activity can spur understanding and foster mutual respect, offering insights into how each of you interacts with the world and handles challenges.

• Allow for Free Associations

  • Finally, give yourself the freedom to relax your mind and make free associations. It’s perfectly okay to say, "This may not be related, but this thought just occurred to me..." Such moments can inspire creativity and lead to unexpected breakthroughs. They also model openness and vulnerability, encouraging your mentee to share their unpolished ideas.

You got this!

Kicking off a mentorship relationship with a new mentee is a unique opportunity to grow and learn together. Remember, the key is to remain open, curious, and supportive to guide your mentee as they navigate this part of their career journey.